"The X-Files" (TM) and (C) Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.
This is an UNOFFICIAL transcript to be used for commentary and criticism purposes ONLY.
COSTA MESA, CALIFORNIA
Pankow: Hello? Hello! Hey! I'm sitting here, dude!
Rob: Sorry. We're closed.
Pankow: I was here before you turned off the light. Grandfather clause, man. I need a super patty, double with cheese...
Rob: The light was a mistake. We're closed. Sorry.
Pankow: The light was on! How bad do you want this job? 'Cause I'll call the head office right now. Super patty, double, with cheese. Supersize fries. Supersize diet Sprite.
Rob: Drive through, please.
Pankow: What the hell is this? Customer service, man. Stop spanking it, and get my food. Hey, in there. Guy?
THREE DAYS LATER
Rob: You...are your own man and you control everything you do.
Rob: Hey, yo, Derwood.
Spinks: Hey, Rob.
Rob: Hey, Mr. Rice.
Rice: How's it going, Rob?
Rob: Have a good one, Lucy.
Lucy: You too, Rob.
Rob: Welcome to Lucky Boy. May I take your order?
Mulder: Yeah, we'll have it our way. FBI.
Scully: Special agents Scully and Mulder. We'd like a word with your manager, please.
Rice: Well, that's me. How can I help you?
Scully: Sir, would you do us a favor and gather your employees, please?
Employee: Well, what's going on?
Mulder: We're investigating a murder. A car was found in a reservoir ten miles from here. A body was found in the trunk of that car.
Rice: What does that have to do with us?
Scully: Well, this was also found in the car. It's a badge that's only given to employees. Is that correct?
Rice: Yeah, "free fer" Fridays--it's our promotion where you buy one superpatty and get one free. But, look, there's four Lucky Boys in Costa Mesa alone, and something like 30 in Orange County.
Mulder: Yeah, long day. So let's make this quick. Does everybody have their button?
Rob: We only wear them on Fridays. "Free fer" Fridays.
Mulder: Yeah, but does everybody have their button? Hey, uh, you...back there, what's your name?
Spinks: Derwood Spinks.
Mulder: Derwood. Do you have your button, Derwood?
Spinks: Uh, no, I must have left it at home on account of we're supposed to only wear them on Fridays. I sure as hell didn't leave it on no dead guy.
Scully: I don't believe that we said the victim was male.
Mulder: We're going to ask everybody to step outside right now, while we take a quick look around the premises.
Rob: Who was...the victim?
Mulder: His name was Donald Edward Pankow. Does that ring a bell?
Spinks: I'm going to get some cigarettes.
Rice: I guess I'd better call the corporate headquarters, and find out what they want us to do.
Mulder: Hey, Scully, check it out. You know how they say, you never wanna see the kitchen of any of your favorite restaurants?
Scully: Somehow, I don't think Lucky Boy would make that list.
Mulder: My point being that this is a hell of a lot cleaner than all the others. Don't you think?
Scully: I guess. So what are you saying, Mulder? This place has been scrubbed from top to bottom to cover up evidence?
Mulder: Maybe. Maybe I'm thinking this was the crime scene.
Scully: You're saying Mr. Pankow had his brain very neatly removed from his skull right here, in this kitchen?
Mulder: It had to happen somewhere.
Scully: But, next to the shake machine, Mulder? I think that we should be checking out employee lockers, and not entertaining the idea that ad hoc surgery was performed here.
Mulder: I wouldn't exactly call it surgery. What if this man's brain was eaten? It's not sociologically unheard of. There are certain tribes in New Guinea that consider human brains a delicacy.
Scully: Yeah, but, Mulder, we're in Orange County.
Mulder: Yeah, what's your point? It's just that nothing about the way the body was dumped suggests a fetishistic killing. The brain wasn't removed intact. What if this man's brain was eaten right out of his skull?
Scully: Through an inch-and-a-half opening that looks like it was cut with a hole saw?
Mulder: Well, maybe it was cut. Maybe it was punched. What look like tool marks to you look to me like something more organic. Like it was made by a...a tongue, or a proboscis.
Scully: The proboscis of what?
Mulder: I don't know. Oh. Hello. Look at this. Does that look like blood to you?
Scully: Yes, it looks like it.
Mulder: What is that? Next to it. Is that, uh...oh, my...ugh. Is that brains? Is that brain matter, there?
Scully: No, I'd say that's ground beef.
Mulder: Ground beef.
Mulder: Rob Roberts? It's agent Mulder. Hello, again. Sorry to bother you at home.
Rob: No, no bother.
Mulder: Can I come in?
Rob: Yeah, sure.
Mulder: Great, great.
Rob: Uh, what...What can I do for you?
Mulder: You live here alone?
Rob: Yeah, it's just me.
Mulder: Mom or girlfriend?
Mulder: Come on, man, who cleans up after you?
Rob: Neither. It's just me. I--I live here alone.
Mulder: Well, bravo. You know, they say single guys are just bears who own furniture, but...I mean, my place...oh, but here...smell the pine-sol.
Rob: Thanks. Can I...can I get you anything?
Mulder: Yeah, a cheeseburger and a large order of fries. Heh. It's a bad joke. I'm sorry. Uh...Mr. Rice, your manager? He told me that, uh...you stayed late on Friday? Is that right?
Rob: Oh, yeah, sure. Friday. The freezer had died on us. I stayed after to throw out the meat that was going bad.
Mulder: Yeah, did you volunteer to close?
Mulder: Yeah, OK. You volunteered. Volunteered...uh...the, uh...the 35 pounds of ground chuck that Mr. Rice told you to throw away...what did you do with that?
Rob: Threw it out.
Rob: In the dumpster, behind the restaurant.
Mulder: Hmm. That's weird. Because that's what I figured you did, so I checked the dumpster and it was empty, which is weird because it only gets cleaned out on Thursday, and you would have thrown away the meat on Friday, so you'd expect the meat to be there, right?
Mulder: I don't see how that's relevant to this murder case, anyway. Let me see if there's anything else I wanted to ask you. Blood. You're...you're bleeding.
Rob: I--I bit my lip.
Mulder: I think that just about wraps it up for me here. Thanks a lot.
Rob: Oh, hey. I, uh...I hope you catch the guy, huh?
Mulder: Yeah. No, I already got a pretty good idea who it is. Thanks.
Steve: What do you want?
Rob: Uh... Nothing.
Steve: So, take a hike.
Rinehart: [on the phone] Uh, hi. This is a message for Rob Roberts. My name is Dr. Mindy Rinehart, and I'm a licensed mental health counselor with the Lucky Boy corporation's employee assistance program. I'm talking to all of the employees at your restaurant about the recent unpleasantness that occurred there. Rob, I'd love for you to come down to my office at 11:00 AM tomorrow morning. As it is a requirement of your employer's insurance provider, this meeting is mandatory. I'm in the Irvine Medical Park, suite 308. Have a good evening.
Ricardo [on tape]: Self-discipline. That's the name of this game. That's the one thing that separates us from the animals--provided you have it. But where do you get it? You can't go down to the local convenience store and buy self-discipline. You can't order it over the Internet. So... Where does it come from? True story. I used to weigh 356 pounds. Do you believe that? Well, it's true. I lived to eat, ladies and gentlemen. My entire life revolved around eating because I was always hungry! My appetite was controlling me. Four-star restaurants, Denny's--it didn't matter. And it didn't stop. It didn't stop till I took charge of my own life. It didn't stop until I put on the brakes and I said, "whoa..."
Ricardo and Rob: Ricardo, you're your own man and you control everything that you do."
Steve: Oh, brother. What?
Rob: What? Derwood...How did you get in here?
Spinks: It's a little skill I picked up in chino. I did a nickel for attempted murder. You didn't know I was an ex-con. Yeah, nobody at work did. Not until this FBI murder investigation whipped everybody up into a froth.
Rob: Derwood, what can I do for you?
Spinks: You know I got fired last night? Stupid little pissant job where they make you wear a paper hat--and they fired me. Plus, as far as that, uh...redheaded FBI agent's concerned, I'm the prime suspect in this murder. But that's no skin off my nose, seeing as you did it. Diet pills. Yours, right? See, I found them when I opened up on Saturday morning. I didn't give them back 'cause I figured, hey, free speed, right? But then there's this whole flap about a murder, and I notice this. That ain't ketchup, man.
Rob: What--what do you want, Derwood?
Spinks: I don't know. What do you got? TV, VCR...ah, it's all crappy off-brand stuff, but you know, I'll take that and whatever money you got in the bank, and you get this, and I keep my mouth shut and, just maybe, you can blow town before the long arm of the law reaches out, and grabs you by the gonads. [knocking on the door] Maybe not. Cup 'em.
Sylvia: Hi. Rob? I hate to bother you, but, uh...last night in the front of the building there was a man in a parked car for hours. Did you happen to see him? It was a maroon car. He was pretty clean-cut, so I didn't call the police, but he was still there when I went to bed.
Rob: Gee, Sylvia, I don't know what to tell you.
Sylvia: He's gone now, but just...you know, keep your eyes out in case he comes back.
Rob: You got it.
Spinks: So, I'll call you tonight and let you know where to drop off my new VCR. Oh, and don't try skipping town. You won't get too far.
Mulder: Just the man I wanted to see. How are you this morning, Rob?
Mulder: I'm glad I caught you. Oh, hey, I was just driving to your apartment, and I saw Derwood Spinks not a block from here. He wasn't coming from your place by any chance, was he?
Rob: No, no. I haven't seen him.
Mulder: Good. I'd stay away from him. He's our prime suspect in the Pankow murder.
Rob: You think he did it?
Mulder: Me? No. No, I should say that's the opinion of the Costa Mesa police. And my partner.
Rob: So he's--he's not your guy.
Mulder: No, I think we're looking for somebody who has a compulsion to kill...who truly can't help himself. Oh, quick question...the, uh...the meat that you threw in the dumpster...
Rob: What about it?
Mulder: The dumpster had a padlock.
Mulder: Who would have the key?
Rob: We do, and the trucking company does. Hey--hey, wait. What--what's your point?
Mulder: I'm just tying up some loose ends.
IRVINE MEDICAL PARK
Rinehart: Good, you got my message, Rob. I appreciate your coming. This will be really informal. There you go. I wanna run through some things with you, but we don't stand on ceremony here, so if there's anything that you want to talk about, just go ahead and blurt it out, OK? It hasn't been a run-of-the-mill week so far, has it?
Rinehart: The police have been at the restaurant, and the FBI. I'm sure this has been a very stressful time for you.
Rob: Pretty much.
Rinehart: So, we want to keep on top of any potential problems that these stresses might cause for you. So let's run through some standard questions together. Rob, have you been troubled recently by insomnia? Bad dreams or nightmares? Have you felt emotionally numb? Do you ever see things that aren't there, or hear voices? Tell me, Rob do you feel...?
Rob: This...this murder...this murder that happened.
Rob: What kind of a monster would do something like that?
Rinehart: I don't believe in monsters. But I do believe in people, and sometimes they do terrible things out of weakness, or sickness, or fear, but I do truly believe that deep down inside, even the worst of us wants to be good. Rob, is there anything that's troubling you, that you'd like to talk about? [phone rings] I'm sorry. I though I put that on voice mail. Mindy Rinehart. Yes, agent Mulder, what can I do for you? No, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'm sorry, but it would violate patient confidentiality.
Rob: I, uh...
Rinehart: Excuse me, agent. Rob?
Rob: Yeah. I have to go to work now.
Rinehart: Would you please call me later so that we could finish our talk?
Rice: You shouldn't be here, Derwood. We would have mailed you your last check.
Spinks: Just give me my money, Rice. [to Rob] How you doing, killer? You better have some money for me, too, huh?
Rice: There. Now, please leave.
Spinks: With pleasure, pal. Boy, I oughta just make happy hour. Uh, since this is farewell, when nobody was looking, I used to dip my boys in the cole slaw. Bon appetit.
DERWOOD SPINKS RESIDENCE
Spinks: If somebody's still in here, you're in a world of hurt! Rob...you looking for these? Deal's off, buddy. Remember that guy you iced? Pankow? I just heard he didn't have a brain in his head. You're one sick little freak, man. You got a lot of problems. If I were the FBI, I'd want you real bad. Public enemy number one, and all that. Lots of reward money. So I'm gonna turn you in myself... Lucky Boy.
Rob: Hi. You said we should finish talking.
Rinehart: Come in.
Rob: I think I need help.
Rinehart: Tell me why you think that.
Rob: I have compulsions to eat. I get hungry, and I try to put it off for as long as I can, but then, finally, I just... I get so hungry that I can't help myself, and...
Rinehart: You binge then purge? You eat too much, and then cause yourself to vomit?
Rob: No. I just eat.
Rinehart: But...this makes you feel bad?
Rob: I guess it makes me feel like I'm not a good person.
Rinehart: Rob, there are so many different kinds of eating disorders. Men and women from every walk of life suffer from them, but if there's one thing that they all have in common, it's low self-esteem. And it's a shame, because low self-esteem can be like a fun-house mirror. It reflects back a warped and ugly image of ourselves. What do you think Cindy Crawford would look like in a fun-house mirror?
Rob: Weird? Ugly?
Rinehart: And how would the most handsome man in the world look? How would, say, Peter Jennings look in a fun-house mirror?
Rinehart: And how do you look in this mirror? Do you think that looks like a bad person? An unworthy person? I'll tell you what I see. I see a nice smile...I see soulful brown eyes...I see good. Now, Rob, I want you to keep looking into this mirror until you see the same things that I do. There's a meeting that I'd like you to attend tonight. It's every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Now, you can talk to me anytime you want, but these people are the best. They can really help you.
Rob: I have to go.
Rinehart: You always hurry away.
Rob: I appreciate it, and I want you to understand that I really am trying to do right.
Sylvia: Hey, Rob, you didn't tell me you had a friend in the FBI.
Sylvia: He's upstairs. I told him all about that strange man in the maroon car, and he said he'd look into it.
Mulder: Afternoon, Rob.
Scully: Sir, may we speak with you?
Scully: Derwood Spinks has disappeared.
Mulder: His car is gone along with some personal belongings.
Scully: My partner saw Spinks in your neighborhood yesterday morning. At that time, you told agent Mulder that you hadn't seen Mr. Spinks. Is that correct?
Rob: I don't even know him that well. If he was going to leave town, he wouldn't come tell me about it.
Mulder: Who said he left town?
Rob: I don't know. Isn't that what you think happened?
Mulder: No, no, no. Personally, I think he's dead. I can't speak for my partner, but I think that whatever it was that killed Donald Pankow also got to Mr. Derwood Spinks.
Rob: What do you mean, "whatever it was"?
Mulder: I'll let you in on a little secret. We've been able to keep it pretty quiet up until now, but Donald Pankow's brain is missing from his skull. My partner was able to find something that was previously undetected. It was the tip of what can only be described as a tiny shark's tooth embedded deep in the bone. I think we're looking for some kind of genetic freak--a carnivorous predator as yet unidentified. A monster, if you will.
Rob: There's no such thing.
Mulder: Don't you believe it? This thing definitely qualifies. It has a biological imperative to eat. I think it even ate that ground chuck you threw away.
Rob: Yeah? Why?
Mulder: Because it can't kill with impunity, and it knows it. It knows that the more it feeds on humans, the closer it gets to getting caught, but the hunger is always there. And it satisfies it any way it can.
Rob: I'm sorry, but this is like good cop, insane cop. Why are you telling me all of this?
Mulder: I think you know why.
Scully: Thank you, Mr. Roberts. We'll contact you if we have any further questions.
Mulder: Watch out for that monster.
Woman: Devil's food with the white sugar frosting. It is, like, deliver me from evil. [to Rob] Come on in. Come on. [continues talking] So I baked three dozen of these for my daughter's school fund-raiser, and at 3 in the morning the night before there they are--all three dozen of them, lined up and calling to me. Well, you know, in the past, there'd have been a good chance I'd have gone through every single last one of them. But this night...
Sylvia: Small world, huh?
Woman: ...I laid in bed thinking about these meetings...
Sylvia: Is this your first time at a meeting?
Woman: ...I got one six-ounce plain yogurt and ate it.
Woman: Thank you. Does anybody else have anything they want to share?
Sylvia: Do you feel up to introducing yourself? Everybody's really nice.
Sylvia: Don't be scared; it helped me.
Rob: Uh, hi. My name is Robert Roberts. People call me Rob.
Everyone: Hi, Rob.
Rob: I have an eating disorder. I'm definitely a meat-eater, not a vegetarian. I've always had these cravings my whole life and just...just recently, the last month or so, they've just become too powerful to resist.
Woman: Tell us about it.
Rob: I guess it's the taste I respond to the most--salty and juicy. Kind of buttery. The texture of it inside of your mouth...you know, your teeth just sink into it like this juicy cloud, and it tastes so good you don't...you don't even wanna swallow it. You just want to work it around your taste buds until your eyes roll right back into your head. Anyway, it's a real problem.
Rob: Wait. Your ex-husband did what?
Sylvia: He said I was too fat to ride in his sports car--that I'd just mess up the springs. So I sat on the hood and I bounced. And I didn't stop until the police showed up. They sided with me.
Rob: Hey, thank you, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Good night, Rob.
Rob: Good night, Sylvia.
Sylvia: I'll be right there.
Man: What the hell is going on?
Rob: Oh my god. Call the police!
Woman: Is everything OK?
Mulder: Mr. Derwood Spinks, alive and well. I'm confused, Rob, is he helping you redecorate?
Rob: I lied to you before.
Scully: About what?
Rob: Derwood was coming from my place the morning you saw him. He said if I spoke to you, he'd kill me.
Scully: What didn't he want you to tell us?
Rob: Last Friday night, he hung out while I was cleaning out the freezer. He told me to go home. Said he'd finish up. You know, I didn't know why the hell he was being so nice to me, but, when I got home, I realized I had the key to the dumpster. And when I drove back, I saw him cleaning up all of this blood.
Mulder: You must have been very scared.
Rob: I was, but you know, I should have told the truth from the start.
Mulder: Do you recognize this guy?
Mulder: He's a private eye. Sylvia Jassy's ex-husband hired him to spy on her. But now this Steve Kiziak is gone missing.
Scully: He was last seen parked outside of your apartment. You didn't notice him?
Rob: No, I didn't notice anything.
Mulder: Well, maybe we should check with Sylvia again.
Rob: I don't think she's home.
Mulder: Well, we'll track her down. Don't worry, Rob. It won't be long now.
Rinehart: Oh, my gosh. Rob, what happened?
Rob: It's a long story. What do you want?
Rinehart: I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd say hi.
Rinehart: Rob, are you all right? Did you do this?
Rob: No! Derwood Spinks did this. You know, he's the one who--like I said, it's a long story.
Rinehart: Where are you going?
Rob: To a friend's house. I have to leave, actually, as in now.
Rinehart: Are you sure you're all right. You're not feeling...
Rob: Yes, absolutely. I'm fine, you know.
Rinehart: It's just that, when I came to see me yesterday, I sensed there were things you you wanted to talk about, but couldn't.
Rob: That was yesterday.
Rinehart: Well, can we talk about them now?
Rob: Look! Let me stop you right there, OK. You you don't have to worry about me anymore. As of 10:38 AM, I'm no longer employed by the Lucky Boy corporation. I quit.
Rinehart: Rob, I'm here as a friend.
Rob: Well, then, consider me cured. I had a breakthrough last night.
Rinehart: Did you attend the OA meeting?
Rinehart: How did it go?
Rob: It was a complete and utter waste of my time.
Rinehart: I'm sorry you felt that way.
Rob: So they're a bunch of fat people. So what? Maybe they got what you'd call a biological imperative to eat too much. Did you ever think of that? Did you? You know, maybe I've got a biological imperative, too. So why is that such a bad thing, like the world is gonna end? That's biology. You can't fight biology! You can't.
Rinehart: Sounds like you're saying you are you tired of feeling guilty.
Rob: Bingo, and I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm something that I'm not.
Rinehart: You killed that man, didn't you?
Rob: What did you just say?
Rinehart: That's why you feel so guilty; isn't it? Can you tell me why you did it?
Rob: Who have you been talking to?
Rinehart: No one, I realized it after our last session.
Rob: You spoke to the FBI, didn't you?
Rinehart: I haven't spoken to anyone, and I won't without your permission, but I am asking you to turn yourself in. I want you to get the help that you need.
Rob: You don't know what the hell you're talking about!
Rinehart: Yes I do, Rob.
Rob: No, you don't! You said you don't believe in monsters, right? How about now? How about now? Did you still not believe in monsters.
Rinehart: You, poor man. What you must go through.
Scully: Oh, my god!
Mulder: Step away, Rob. Step away.
Scully: Dr. Rinehart, step away from him.
Rinehart: Don't hurt him.
Mulder: Rob, we tracked Sylvia down on the way from a landfill. You just can't stop yourself, can you? Get on the floor! Rob, get on the floor!
Rinehart: Rob, be the good person I know you mean to be.
[Rob runs toward Mulder, Mulder shoots him]
Rob: I can't be something I'm not.